I said a while back that I wanted to share more of my writing. I've used writing prompts to do this, and now I'm going to share my first CNF piece. This is actually the very first one I wrote for my class this fall. We had to write about a moment where we felt intense joy or intense fear. I hope you like it. :)
Stars
I wouldn’t necessarily call what I felt
in the car that night joy. It was more a moment of contentment and peace. But
when you struggle with anxiety, stress, and insecurities, contentment can seem
a lot like joy.
On the evening of the last day in March,
I was done with my homework and felt antsy. There was nothing happening on
social media, and I’d exhausted my Netflix queue and bookshelves a few days
before. Earlier that week, I’d been alone on campus for Easter break. All of my
friends had gone home, but a four-day weekend was too short to justify the
sixteen-hour round trip to Virginia. I’d been at Asbury for almost two full
years, but I still wasn’t used to living so far from home.
Regardless, I was also suffering from
residual loneliness and a sense of exclusion. I decided I needed a short
adventure—nothing big, but enough to stave off my worst insecurities.
I mentally ran through the list of my
closest friends at Asbury. I thought about texting Mary-Courtney, but I figured
she was hanging out with her boyfriend or the freshman she’d befriended that
year. Elise would be with her boyfriend, too, and I assumed Sarah had too much
homework. Besides, my friendship with her was still new and I didn’t want to
scare her off with an adventure proposition. That left Julia.
I wandered through my maze-like dorm and
down the stairs to her room. I fiddled with the ring on my right hand. I’ve
known Julia since orientation week at Asbury; we’d become good friends, bonding
over our love for all things Taylor Swift and French. She was usually up for a
late night drive, something I was hoping to take advantage of with my
proposition. Julia had a snug red CRV lovingly dubbed Margaret, and she was the
perfect vehicle for adventures.
I knocked on her door and entered at her
soft, “Come in.”
Her smile didn’t quite reach her eyes. Her
face was washed clean of makeup, and she’d already changed into pajamas and
tossed her blonde hair up into a messy bun. She had a lot of homework spread
around her, and I almost didn’t present my proposition.
“Do you want to go to Sonic?” I asked. Julia
opened her mouth but before she could reply, I cut in, “Please? I’m getting
cabin fever since I didn’t leave campus at all this weekend, and I’ll pay for
your drink.”
She studied her textbooks and notebooks
before looking back up at me. “I don’t know, I have a lot of homework to catch
up on...”
“Please?” I said again, placing my hands
under my chin in an attempt to look all cute and innocent. “Come on, you need a
break!”
She nodded, and her smile grew a little
more genuine. “All right. Give me ten minutes to finish these problems.”
Fifteen minutes later, phones and wallets
in hand, we strolled out of the dorm and across the parking lot to Margaret. It
was a clear, warm night, probably in the upper sixties. As a former Illinois
girl, I was used to blustery frigid Marches, so this was a nice change.
Julia focused on driving while I plugged
in her phone so we could jam for the short drive to Sonic. I queued up my
“Riding Shotgun” playlist, something that had become a staple any time we drove
places together. Julia sang along to her favorites—namely Rachel Platten’s
“Fight Song” and OMI’s “Cheerleader”—and I danced a little in my seat. We talked
about small things, like our homework load for that week and how crazy the
semester felt as we got closer and closer to finals. I found myself chattering
on, as I listed all the projects and papers due before the semester was over.
My heart tip-tapped faster and faster and
sweat prickled on my hands. When I paused for breath, I wiped my hands on my
pants and sighed. Giving into my anxiety was never a good idea. Thankfully, the
yellow and red lights came into view. They were the distraction I needed. We
went to the drive-through so we could get back to campus sooner. Julia asked
for a blue raspberry slush, and I ordered tater tots for us to share, along
with a chocolate strawberry shake.
Once we were back on the road, I
stretched my legs and sighed softly. The car smelled like Sonic—salt and grease
mingling until we scooped up the last tater tot from the box. This was exactly
what I needed tonight, quality girl time and a chocolate strawberry shake.
As we drove further away from the bright
lights into the Kentucky countryside, “Cecilia and the Satellite” started
playing. The familiar beat of the indie rock song thrummed through my feet and
up to my fingers. The chorus always reminded me of a song they’d use in a teen
movie. If I had rolled my window down, I would’ve been tempted to stick my arm
out and move my hand in a wave-like motion. Instead, I peered out the
windshield as I mouthed the words. The stars were out and all felt right in my
world.
Love, love, love this piece. Good detail and descriptions! I felt like I was there with you.
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