Kristen Stewart in Naeem Khan.
My goodness, this is just a hot mess. It's not even hot. Her hair=ugh. That dress=horrific. And that same old frown.
Runner-up for Worst Dressed
Melissa McCarthy in David Meister
My main problem with this is that it does NOTHING for Melissa. The dress is boxy and makes her look like a box. It's not about her weight; there are dresses that she could look much better in. And don't even get me started on her hair. (I think she and Kristen Stewart had the same stylist.)
Fan Bingbing in Marchesa
My eyes. I like pink as much as the next girl, but that dress is just hideous. This is not a 1980s prom, my dear.
Kelly Rowland in Donna Karan Atelier
Hot mess. This time, Kelly looks pretty (her hair and make-up, and shoes, too), but that dress. My goodness, I'm practically dying just looking at it.
Jennifer Aniston in Valentino
I'm sorry, but was bad hair a theme at the Oscars? It's like the worst dressed actresses got together and said, "Let's go with lackluster locks to compliment our looks!" And I can't say I like the dress, either. It doesn't help that it clashes with the red carpet.
Kristen Chenoweth in Tony Ward
Baby, that's too much dress for someone so short. Plus, baby, you need to lay off the self-tanner (or whatever you use).
Anne Hathaway in Prada
So Anne switched dresses to this mess? I don't know what she was thinking. *sigh* At least she has an Oscar now; maybe she'll stop acting like she's a gift to humanity and the greatest actress ever just because she unnecessarily cut her hair and starved herself to play Fantine.
Kelly Osbourne in Tony Ward Couture
I'm so over her purple hair. And there are way too many straps and sashes on that dress.
Charlize Theron in Christian Dior
Beautiful woman. Ugly dress. It's much too plain, and so blah.
Sandra Bullock in Elie Saab
I think Sandra was part of that boring hair get-together. And what's sad is that Elie Saab is one of my favorite designers. This looks like something to wear to a party with the Addams Family.
Halle Berry in Versace
Too metallic and robotic. She looks like a game show girl from the future.
Aparna Danna in ???
I love a good sari, especially in purple and silver. But one does not wear a sari - especially with a cut-out at the stomach - to the Oscars. It just isn't done.
So there you have it: my worst dressed list from the 2013 Academy Awards. Here's hoping that, next year, there are a lot more best dressed women!
(Oh, and Jeremy Renner was at the Oscars in a Givenchy tux. HAWKEYE NEEDS TO WEAR A TUX IN THE AVENGERS 2, BY DIRECT ORDER OF EMMA.)